36 | Senior Year: Surviving The Emotional Rollercoaster

[00:00:00] I've talked about my story with you and how I had revelation actually during this podcast where I was putting pressure on you Because you were in a certain organization a Very sought-out organization. You were on the top team in within this organization

[00:00:18] And I wanted to I wanted you to succeed Because if you failed it looked bad on me, right? I had a father you failing I felt was gonna be was gonna be a reflection of

[00:00:33] So I was putting pressure on you to succeed. So when you were doing your bullpen I Didn't treat you very well I ignored you I gave you the cold shoulder when you had a bad bullpen and you're like 10 11 12 years old

[00:00:46] And you're like why are you just doing this? Hello, and welcome to catching you a dad and daughter softball journey. I'm Rusty A dad who's been in the dugout and on the sidelines

[00:00:57] And I'm Lacie the daughter whose journey through softball has been filled with incredible winds tough losses and so many lessons both on and off the field For the past 16 years we've navigated the highs and lows of softball together from the local fields to national tournaments

[00:01:12] And everything in between from the challenges of recruitment during COVID to the mental and emotional roller coaster That comes with being a student athlete We will be sharing the perspectives of both the parent and athlete in first-hand experience of the impact of sports on mental health

[00:01:26] And the importance of support from the sidelines Welcome back everyone to catching you. I'm your co-host rusty him with me is my other beautiful co-host and My daughter Lacey Lacey say hi Hello everybody You are still home with us during the summer

[00:01:46] Right. Yeah, like two more weeks until I go back and But then I start school the 21st Just got to get settled in San Jose first and then start school There you go. It looks like your room is cleaned up like we asked you to Oh as always

[00:02:13] 21 years old or still asking to quit up your I think a better job in my apartment. Oh, okay. I don't know why Anyway, yeah, so you're embarking on your senior year, right? Yeah excited. How are you feeling going into your senior year? I'm trying not to

[00:02:37] Think about it too much Because there's a lot of things to think about like I'm I'm still a part of our like student athlete leadership I'm taking six classes in the fall. I Am doing and I'm still doing

[00:02:53] Pitching lessons every week. So I'm gonna start that back up again and then I Have to start applying for masters programs and then I have to apply for graduation If and then I still have something Wait, you have to apply to graduate. I'm a grad grad assistant

[00:03:16] No, yeah, both the grad assistant You have to apply and you have to apply to the masters program but then with graduation you have to apply and get accepted to graduate because You don't automatically get a diploma Because you have to apply and make sure the

[00:03:35] Hello, he's still there. Okay look like you froze You have to apply To the college so for me my college is social science I Have to apply the College of Social Science for graduation to make sure that I have all my credits

[00:03:55] That I and I'm able to graduate Very cool. Yeah. Yeah, you broke up a little bit, but I got it. I got some of it And then I have softballs

[00:04:11] Yeah, hopefully yeah, we'll get out there for it what is good about your senior year and your schedule is You're gonna be down our way a few times, right? You're gonna be that hopefully the Mary Nutter

[00:04:26] Right, and then you'll be down in San Diego. You're gonna be in in Las Vegas So that's a short trip for us, which is cool So we're looking forward to your senior because we'll be able to see you a lot very cool and then with you and

[00:04:43] marking on a senior year I'm getting teary-eyed because It's the end of our journey as me catching you literally catching your bullpens so we have a couple more Entering into your senior year and then when you come back for winter break up

[00:05:01] I catch you a couple more times and that'll be it and it Well, because the end of it because yeah, go ahead winter break because winter break is going into January which is Pretty much prime time before you start season

[00:05:22] Usually colleges go back either like the first or second week of January to start double days which is For those of you that don't know it's one practice in the morning one practice in the afternoon and

[00:05:37] So like a regular travel ball Saturday six hour practice, but imagine that seven days a week for a month So that's it gets pretty hectic, but for our winter break. It's probably three or four weeks That we go home from school to go home for the holidays

[00:06:00] And that's you're away from your coaches. You're away from your team You're away from all your equipment that you've been using all fall So that's pretty much the time that you have to on your own

[00:06:12] Keep going what you developed in the fall and come back in the in January like still ready to go and Go into season. So that's where a lot of people get I think tripped up because they're like Oh

[00:06:28] I don't have time to do this or this but you have to make time Like the only days that should be probably off or like the three days surrounding Christmas and maybe New Year's

[00:06:40] But really all of that winter break. You have to be doing something every single day because you can't lose what you did in the fall Yeah, cuz you're not just practicing in the fall. You're also playing you played

[00:06:53] You probably have a maybe a 15 game schedule that they probably round Yeah, and you're working on different thing unfortunately last year you were you had an inflamed shoulder And then scapula right so you couldn't put you only pitched Maybe three units. Yeah

[00:07:11] So it was tough right because you're trying to work on things we worked on things all summer last year Right we were working on staying back and staying tall and not leaning forward

[00:07:21] And then also you get hurt and I can't like we took we talked about it in other episodes Right where you took step forwards and then you took step back, right? It's except for you're taking stuff back and that's part of

[00:07:34] That's part of the game right and life. Yeah What I realized is that because I could not with inflammation. It's really hard especially When I would try to pitch

[00:07:46] like I would go two pitches in and I like it felt like something was stabbing me in the shoulder and I had to Where I was required to take a month off of pitching. I Took a month off When I had a skull fracture

[00:08:04] Yeah, right, but you can just imagine the pain that I was in Which is crazy to think about is like I didn't feel I felt like I could pitch But then again like I just I physically could not without being in so much pain

[00:08:16] So it's weird to compare a skull fracture and Inflammation the formation and it took the same amount of time off Which is weird, but it's crazy how injuries work and Yeah, it was definitely hard to work all summer and go into August like extremely confident

[00:08:34] And then right when September mid-September hit. I was like I cannot I cannot do this so but Yeah, I remember that this kind of a funny story We go to the mountains every year sometimes up in the snow during winter break and we

[00:08:54] Happened to where we were staying there was a underground garage And and I think this is when you were on Campbell's team, right? It had to be because I had the pitch. Yeah, we're in this under garage and she's pitching to me in this garage

[00:09:11] Well, you took a funny you took a funny picture of me and we I think we brought the pitching mat Yeah, and I'm wearing a beanie. Yeah, I think I'm wearing like under armor sleeves plus a long sleeve. Yeah leggings in

[00:09:27] Two pairs of thick socks and then my pitching shoes and I looked ridiculous Absolutely ridiculous But then it was like it I think it was good because it was so cold that I like had to push through it Yeah, but

[00:09:42] Yeah, how'd you get the reps in? I don't know how productive it was but still pitched. Yeah remember I was doing my workouts and I I think this past year

[00:09:53] I had some we had some of my friends come with us and there was like an upstairs loft and We didn't have a gym. We didn't have gym access So I asked my trainer for a lotty weight workouts and some of it was like burpees

[00:10:05] So I'm upstairs and you just hear on the stairs because I'm doing burpees and the elevation is terrible So I'm just out of breath after five Yeah, so if you're listening in and you're in college or even if you're high school you did in high school

[00:10:20] But there's no time off right? I used to coach high school basketball. There's I had zero time off, right? Like you said I had Thanksgiving Day maybe I had Thanksgiving day and next day we were practicing Christmas

[00:10:33] We had we practice up until Wednesday and then there think Christmas on Thursday I'd give him Friday off and then we would play on Saturday. So it's the same thing was softball Even though softball is a spring sport, you're not taking time off and for you

[00:10:50] It's gonna be weird and I was gonna talk about this We've interviewed a few pro softball players. We've interviewed Delaney spalling and Their senior year we bought we ask all yeah everyone how was your senior year because

[00:11:04] their senior year some are super excited that it's gonna be over maybe they had a bad experience and some or They wanted it to continue because they're having so much fun and you're in that mode, right?

[00:11:17] You're in that mode, which is I want to I didn't play well last year our team didn't do well last year I want to go into my senior and have fun and Maybe midway through the season she might change it to hopefully not

[00:11:31] But that's gonna be that's gonna be a mental portion of your game Where it's okay If I'm not having fun my senior year, how do I like how does an end and thought about it at all? really it it's all gonna be up to how I

[00:11:51] Go into it if I let everything around me dictate how I'm gonna end my senior year Then I'm probably not gonna have the best I don't know yet. I'm going in with senior year new new pitching coach and

[00:12:10] But we're having all the same girls come back, which is nice. I love my pitching Unit as we call it all those girls are coming back. I really love all of them. It's gonna be different

[00:12:22] But I have I'm going in with a good mindset. So that's how I Think it's just all how you approach it Because if you go in and be like, oh, I'm so stressed like how's this gonna go?

[00:12:37] I don't know this new coach. How are like, how are we gonna do in conference blah blah blah? That's not that's those months away Obviously, it's gonna go by fast because it usually does I felt I feel like yesterday was when I moved into

[00:12:53] CB2 and San Jose and had all my softball girls on the same floor right next to me and It's all about how you look at it Yeah, if I look at it and be like, oh my gosh, it's my last year ever playing softball

[00:13:09] I don't know what I'm gonna do Like I'm not gonna enjoy The present moment like all the great things that I've experienced such as going to football games with my teammates There's some like so much stuff goes on there and then we have

[00:13:25] Halloween as a team we have what is it? We have Christmas parties together Like my student athlete leadership we have all these events that we host and then

[00:13:35] Just going into double days when no one else is an out on campus except the softball team and like maybe a few other spring sports It's just so it's so fun And having lunch with my teammates like those are the things that I'm gonna take away

[00:13:50] Yeah, and there's there's three things going on and going in your senior right? You're healthy Right no one transferred. So you don't have that drama Oh, why'd someone leave and everyone stayed you don't hear that

[00:14:02] Do that you don't hear that these days like you have a full team that stays and you have a new pitching coach And she seems to be You know, she sounds really good. She's super young

[00:14:12] I think she's gonna be energetic and she's gonna bring in a lot of things that the other one didn't and hopefully that Propels you to have a very successful season. Very cool. So

[00:14:25] Let's we have we get fan mail. So if you guys don't know if you're going to show notes We have a link that where you can leave us a message, right? so we had somebody from New Jersey You got to say it like that because

[00:14:39] That was really was it No, no, it was not good. So a couple things that he Said in there, which can make me chuckle a little bit He has a he has a daughter going into 14 you starting the fall and

[00:14:56] He's contemplating he's she's batting he's contemplating switch her over to the left side to do slapping My personal opinion and that this guy's name is he's Josh from North Codwell, New Jersey as a father I would commit to one

[00:15:14] And I think it's you he said there she's going into 14 you yeah 14 you That's a big transition right from 12 to 14. You know that because of the distance you're going for 40 to 43 Right. Yes. Yes And the daughter bats right but that he's been doing some slapping so

[00:15:39] If you feel this is my personal opinion if you feel like she should be a slapper and you think that is the road to success Or a later date then you got to commit. I don't you can't be where she was

[00:15:53] She she struck out four times in a game on the left side So we're going to switch her back to the right side now. We had that happen Lace number Tatiana if he was right-handed when she first started with you in ten you

[00:16:05] Chris is working with her and slapping She went oh to this buddy, so she went oh to in a game And Chris at third base had switched around switch. Oh two as a slapper

[00:16:17] And then she switched he switched her around to the right side and what did she do? She had like a triple or something. No, she had a home run over the fence

[00:16:27] It was the greatest thing because she's been working at slapping this whole time and then he just at o2 Count he said hey go go to the right side But like she's gonna bomb. Yeah, but now she's a slapper at University of Iowa. Yeah, I'm playing for the

[00:16:43] Yeah, you national team like But she also the Josh's daughter She has to love slapping because I feel like slapping is it's very it's not niche, but it's very Particular and there's very there's certain skills that you have to have

[00:17:04] This is from an outside perspective of like when I watched college teams is they're always out of the box What is it? They're yeah always out of the box or something like something always happens

[00:17:16] Like or they're hit they hit it too hard and they're always getting out like it's the bouncing or the slam Bunting like there's very particular skills that slappers need to have Speed like she needs to be fast enough

[00:17:32] But if you think she's fast enough then I'd say go for it. She can also always work on speed, too You get faster but He says that he's had her he's hasn't hitting coach working on

[00:17:46] Riding and also slapping over less six nine months, which if you're a hitting coach, I don't I disagree with that After six to nine months, I feel like you should know whether which side which side is

[00:17:59] Like and he says he and he says that she's undersized there are some undersized girls that can hit for power But typically if you're undersized You're typically in the on the left side slapping typically and right go ahead There's different sizes of slappers. There's even power slappers

[00:18:20] Tatiana we're talking about she's taller and strong so she she does a really good job of Power slapping as well Rather than like just bouncing the ball or bunting so she's pretty strong hitter as well

[00:18:34] But then there's others that aren't as strong and use the bouncing and the bounce to their advantage So just it just depends On she could have a growth spurt who knows and true all

[00:18:49] Right, I know and then another yeah another thing you touched on it was mindset right and his concern was Failure right baseball and softball If you're hitting 300 you're actually considered a successful hitter And which is weird because your family is seven out of ten times and so that

[00:19:09] For a future like for you. You had you didn't have a very good year last year you feel I would say More than you were successful Mindset wise, how do you deal with something like that?

[00:19:23] Are you're older now right you're 21 and you've gone through the ups and downs We talked about the ups and downs and everything in between talk to her talk to Josh's daughter on how Failure, you know is actually good for you Let's take a quick break

[00:19:42] If you want to leave us a message use the link in the show notes And if you want us to respond leave your name and email address also Please rate us in or leave a review as we're trying to grow this show every day

[00:19:58] Finally, Lacey and I both love coffee. We would greatly appreciate any contribution to the show that link is also in the show notes Thank you. Take care Yeah, I'm gonna say this I still don't have it all figured out Cuz I eat failing No

[00:20:21] Oh, you didn't know that Like there's always Thing it's so weird cuz there's always random things where if I don't get it right on the first try or maybe even the second try

[00:20:36] Like someone explains it to me and I'm like, alright, like that's that sounds fine. I could do that and I can't do it I'm like, why can't I do it? Why am I failing like this is not who I am? But we've talked about being a perfectionist before

[00:20:52] well like I'm gonna use like CrossFit as an example because I've been doing that more over the summer and Learning all these new Things that I've never learned before I didn't even know a Toes to bar was a thing have you heard of that?

[00:21:12] No, and I'm in the same gym that you were going to and I don't know We're buying these toes to bar and You basically have to swing yourself up and bring your legs up and touch your toes to the pull-up bar Sounds hard. And so

[00:21:28] The fur I think this was like maybe the second or third week that I was going and I Like the first time we did it could not do it to save my life

[00:21:39] And I was like my legs are just so heavy that how am I supposed to swing them all the way up there and touch my toes But then we started doing it mate like I'd say the next two weeks. There were two other workouts that had that involved

[00:21:55] And like slowly I learned the technique and it was so much easier than I like made it out to be And but there's just little details that I wasn't paying attention to

[00:22:07] But then I got to be successful in the toast to bar finally and got to do the workout Pretty well and smoothly But I'd say with failure fit I don't know. I don't know. I think probably my sports psychologist told me this but

[00:22:26] Failure is more of a learning Experience if you look at failure as a negative thing then you're always gonna look at it as a negative thing but if you look at failure as something that you take that experience and you learn from it and you're

[00:22:44] You're like, okay. I did this And it did not work. So let's try something else that will like we'll have a different Success rate. Yep

[00:22:56] So if you take if you look at failure in such a negative light, then you're always gonna be like I just fail all the time I'm not gonna get any better but if you take it as a learning experience then

[00:23:08] There's a more positive light to it and you're gonna have a more positive mindset going into Say just like softball in general like he was talking about like he's worried about

[00:23:19] The mindset and the failure part of the sport if she loves softball then like she chose that route That's if it's I chose that route and I you can't really look back once

[00:23:31] Once you go forward with it because it is a game of failure and you there's nothing you could change about that But there's something really cool about failure, but you have to look at it in that way You can't look at it as something

[00:23:48] Yeah, you gotta be patient. So going back to the CrossFit you In order to succeed you had to fail Yeah, I think that's overall same as Michael Jordan and all LeBron all these guys they failed multiple times

[00:24:03] To be who they are right? I think our searcher has a book on he says how do you deal with the 9,000 times you fail? And he goes I know I now know

[00:24:14] 9,000 ways not to do that again right so he grew every time he failed good stuff and then the last thing he talked about was Him this is just gonna refer to me him putting pressure on her

[00:24:26] Because he sees the potential and I'm gonna put I'm gonna put down air quotes because everyone has potential right? Speaking and I've talked about my story with you and how I had a revelation actually during this podcast where I was putting pressure on you because

[00:24:43] You were in a certain organization a Very sought-out organization you were on the top team it within this organization And I wanted to I wanted you to succeed Because if you fail then it looked bad on me, right as a father

[00:24:59] You failing I felt was gonna be was gonna be a Reflection of who I was and so I was putting pressure on you to succeed. So when you were doing your bullpens I Didn't treat you very well

[00:25:13] I ignored you I gave me the cold shoulder when you had a bad bullpen and you're like 10 11 12 years old You're like why are you just going this you're my father? You're supposed to support me and we had a good breakthrough moment where I backed off

[00:25:28] I was supportive and then you grew exponentially after that I believe and now it's because you came forward, right? It was your It wasn't anything I did and you came and said hey you need to stop this because it's not good for a relationship

[00:25:43] You didn't say that because you're only 11 But what a word though You might have when you're three years old you're saying the way word Winchester swords anyway, so Josh yes, I get it. You want her to succeed?

[00:25:59] You don't want her to fail. So you're gonna put pressure on her which I think It's okay to put pressure on her but you also need to combine it with understanding and

[00:26:12] Understanding how they feel about at the time and not pressure them as much right give him give him that 24 hours Yeah, there's a fine line. Yeah, so it went up. I'm not saying kumbaya, right? We've talked about this whole many times

[00:26:26] It's not kumbaya. Oh Lacey. How are you feeling? I didn't mean to was anything like that I'm gonna put pressure on you because I do want to see I do want to see you succeed and You chose softball you got really good at it

[00:26:41] Your self-determined right you want to succeed yourself. So I was pushing you and at the time I was pushing you probably too hard But there's a fine line like you said I can still push you and then we can have a civil conversation afterwards

[00:26:56] Hey, how did that pitching session go or maybe we should work on this next time or I can say Hey that that bullpen was horrible and you probably agree with me and then but we can have a nice civil conversation after work, right? Yeah

[00:27:11] So I'm gonna miss those conversations, right? We talked about this just we're heading towards the end of catching you not the podcast But me catching you literally and again and it came from a poem that I wrote I love catching you and catching you is gonna change

[00:27:27] Right after you're done with your season, I'm gonna love catching you being a grad student. I'm gonna love catching you Maybe having a relationship or maybe catching you having kids someday I'm gonna love you catching you so it's a figurative thing, right?

[00:27:41] So I'm getting a little emotional talking about it, but I'm looking forward to it just to let you know I'm looking forward to it too. It's with going into my masters. It's very similar environment Then that I would be like right now Just not on the field

[00:27:59] But our bullpens right now, I feel like it's we take our little speaker out. Yes It's either you or me playing today's top hits or like a park Link Park or I have some country music that I play and it's pretty much silent during our

[00:28:21] Bullpens unless I ask for feedback sometimes and you're like I Say so did that rise both spin enough and he said I don't know because I was just trying to catch the ball Which is the most

[00:28:36] Yeah, that's not helping you last night. We're indoors and you threw in right of my face and I almost Because of my eyesay is not people I'm 55 guys If you didn't know my eyesay is not the best and she's her she pitched it and coming right

[00:28:55] High-fast ball, but I almost fell over on the bucket because I Couldn't see it And then five pictures right hit him with a curveball around my foot. Yeah, it's great I always tease you I'd my hate catching you but I love it. I just I love

[00:29:12] And it won't be the last time I do a boy we might do like when you're older We hey, it's still a little quick bullpen. Just maybe just a joke around but no, but I'm gonna enjoy catching you

[00:29:23] Moving on with the rest the next chapter of your life, right? This chapter is about to end. We have a couple more pages Making your senior year You're gonna you're doing great in school. That's not an issue

[00:29:35] And you're gonna hopefully come out of college debt-free which is the goal, right? Oh, just huge and so I'm just looking forward to it. It's gonna be great Need fun it it's weird too because it's gonna be like this is the summer and then next summer

[00:29:52] Basically, I because every time I go home for the summer. I'm like, alright, where am I gonna work out? What do I need to work on for pitching I need to go to pitching lessons All this stuff and that's all gonna be gone. I

[00:30:07] Don't have to worry it like I can work out for myself. I can go We can go long toss just cuz This for the heck of it, right? That's for the heck of it. And that's so weird

[00:30:19] That's really weird. Yeah, so if you're young if you're a young softball player now These are things that you're gonna have to Navigate as you go through college and what you get to the end right so these are things you got to think about

[00:30:32] Yeah, I think I was talking and I talked to you guys more about like am I gonna be a Crossfit strength girl or am I gonna be like a yoga Pilates girl? Oh, please. I Don't know which one but you can do bow

[00:30:49] We'll see you tomorrow. Yeah surprise Will strength competition that I don't know how I'm gonna do but we'll see You'll probably do better than I would All right. Yeah, so good stuff. We're gonna end it here place. I love you

[00:31:07] I'll see you in a couple seconds. Take care everybody see everybody else on the other side. I love you sweetie Love you