29 | Delaney Spaulding on Mental Health and Overcoming Adversity at UCLA

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to Catching You podcast. As you have noticed, there's a link in the show notes to send us a message. Lacie and I are taking questions to answer for future episodes.

[00:00:12] Send us your questions or simply drop us a message and let us know what you think of our show. Thank you and catch you guys on the other side. Take care. Welcome back everybody to Catching You. Here is part two with Delaney Spalding. Enjoy.

[00:00:29] Hello and welcome to Catching You, a Dad and Daughters Softball Journey. I'm Rusty, a dad who's been in the dugout and on the sidelines.

[00:00:37] And I'm Lacie, the daughter whose journey through softball has been filled with incredible wins, tough losses, and so many lessons both on and off the field. For the past 16 years, we've navigated the highs and lows of softball together.

[00:00:50] From the local fields to national tournaments and everything in between. From the challenges of recruitment during COVID to the mental and emotional roller coaster that comes with being a student athlete,

[00:01:00] we'll be sharing the perspectives of both the parent and athlete and firsthand experience of the impact of sports on mental health and the importance of support from the sidelines. Welcome back everybody to Catching You. I'm your co-host Rusty Ham. With me is my beautiful daughter Lacie.

[00:01:17] And we have a special guest with us, Delaney Spalding. Welcome Delaney to Catching You. Let's, so you're after UCLA. Let's go to UCLA. Okay.

[00:01:29] Because Lacie, we talk about mental health a lot. Lacie, after her injury, coming back and not getting recruited, it was first year 14 with Mark Campbell. That's a huge recruiting period, right? You're going to Colorado, you're doing the IDT.

[00:01:48] That's where most of the colleges are going to be there. And she was not because she was taking care of her head injury. So when she comes back, she's not herself, right?

[00:01:58] She's got balls whizzing by her head during practice and games and she's got PTSD a little bit. Talk about UCLA, some ups and downs. Give us, and then how did you react when you had some of those down times?

[00:02:13] Because mental health back then, Delaney wasn't really talked about, right? It was not a thing until recently when we had football players on live themselves. And so it became a big issue last few years.

[00:02:26] But talk about how you, it wasn't mental health back then, but how did you react when you had some down times, some bad times? Yeah, yeah, it wasn't like I said earlier in the podcast, it wasn't all rainbow and sunshine. It was very hard.

[00:02:41] You're dealing with a lot of different personalities. You're dealing with hierarchy, you're dealing with school, you're dealing with being away from your family for the first time. And so yeah, it is hard and it takes a beat on you. Plus just the pressures of playing D1 softball.

[00:02:59] That's hard. Yes, there was some times when I was struggling and to be very frank, I wanted to leave. I wanted to leave UCLA and what just kept me there was, yes, my family.

[00:03:14] And I think if you have a good core and you have those values that and you can rely on them, that's very important. I did express a lot to my mom. I'm very close with my mom. I expressed a lot to her and my frustrations and my hardships.

[00:03:32] She was just a rock for me towards the end of my career. I did sign up to go to a counselor or I don't know what you want to call the program that I signed up for. I chickened out and I left.

[00:03:49] But there were those resources and there are people that you can talk to. But I would say that I went on a lot of smoothie dates with my assistant coach and I would just sit and talk to him. And I was able to express how I felt.

[00:04:09] I was able to be transparent and he was transparent back with me.

[00:04:14] And so I think it's important that if you are having an issue with anything going on in your life, mine was specifically about softball, then it's important to find somebody that you can trust and that you can talk to.

[00:04:29] And whether it is they are somebody that can or they are somebody that is like in power because he was my coach and you can trust him.

[00:04:37] I think that also played a huge benefit for me because I knew that he was going to have my back in the coaches circle and in the coaches meeting. That was very big for me.

[00:04:46] And so just being able to find somebody that's going to have your back in those situations. But again, I think it boils down to being able to talk to somebody and open opening up and talking to somebody and trusting them and them just listening to you.

[00:05:04] Find your people. I always say that. Find your people because it's so important to have good people around you. Not necessarily a lot of people, but those core people around you that are going to listen to you and tell you the truth. Unless you've got some more things.

[00:05:20] Right with right now. Yeah, with counseling and stuff like that. Oh yeah. So I didn't necessarily struggle my freshman year, but I was definitely like trying to find my place in my team, in my athletics department, like what I wanted to do. I changed my major.

[00:05:43] Like it was all this sort of stuff. So my sophomore year, I started seeing like our sports psychologist at my university and I'm so thankful that it's free to us. We don't have to pay. It's right there if we need it.

[00:05:56] Definitely went to him for a long time during my sophomore year. It definitely helped a lot. Brought out my old competitiveness that I was trying to reach. Went a few times this past year.

[00:06:07] It wasn't our best year for my team, but yeah, the PTSD was more like my high school.

[00:06:14] Years and I didn't really understand what was going on until I got to college and I started learning about all this stuff that I was having panic attacks and flashbacks and all these different types of things. And I just thought I was going crazy.

[00:06:30] I just, I was like, I should be over it by now. And, but it was only like maybe a year after it happened. So obviously it took me some time to really get past that. It, I feel like it did help hold me back in a few ways.

[00:06:45] And if I knew about it back then, I could have reached out for help even earlier to, I don't know, say break that mental block and just break through it and be myself, be the picture I was before.

[00:06:59] That's what I'm working towards, like with my degree and what I want to do with my career. So just helping athletes in that area. Yeah. Now going into my senior year, I just gonna let loose. What did you mean by hierarchy? What you said hierarchies.

[00:07:16] What did you mean by that? Oh, I guess just like in a team environment, just anybody that is, that has power can, it can just, it can weigh on you just the pressures of performing for them.

[00:07:29] If they say something that you don't necessarily agree with, if you don't understand what they're saying and you ask questions about it and they don't necessarily understand your question. I just think for the first time, obviously when you go to college, you're dealing with a boss quote unquote.

[00:07:47] And sometimes that's hard to navigate. Would you also relate the hierarchy to like upperclassmen and like underclassmen? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:07:59] When I was a freshman, I came in, I'm a shortstop and I came in and I was practicing at shortstop and the freshmen shortstop, she was an all-American and she was not playing shortstop for this year.

[00:08:15] And she came in and she started catching and it was, that was hard because she was not necessarily an upperclassman, but she's a returning player. And so that was definitely hard for me to navigate. And then I didn't want to step on any toes.

[00:08:31] I was like, nah, I just want to win a national championship at, I want to be your friend. I'm not, I didn't think I was at fault for anything. I was just trying to ball out.

[00:08:41] So I definitely understand that component of returning players or upperclassmen, excuse me, that can be very intimidating. Being able to talk or make friendships or even just be a good teammate in that aspect, man, that's hard as well to navigate. And I completely can relate to that too.

[00:09:03] Yeah. Cause you have a common goal, right? Winning the national championship. Cause if you're at UCLA, that's the goal. Ultimately not every school has that goal, but you guys did. So there's that added pressure and then there's, Hey, you're in my spot. What are you doing?

[00:09:18] So then there animosity maybe within the team. So you got to navigate that too. That's just crazy stuff. What's your favorite memory of UCLA? Is it cause obviously you guys are the ultimate goal is to get to the world series and win the whole thing. Yeah.

[00:09:33] So your four year there, what was your favorite kind of just super joy, your favorite moment at UCLA? There's a couple I'll be brie. The first time that we clinched the world series, my sophomore year, that team was so good. My sophomore year.

[00:09:52] And it was our first time going back to the world series since, since we won it, I think in 2010. And it was, that was such a, such an amazing moment. And then UCLA is big on tradition.

[00:10:03] So we had, there was a ton of traditions that we had to learn at the world series along with our parents. Which I think is really cool as well. And then my freshman year, super regionals against Kentucky.

[00:10:17] They walked Ali Carter to load the bases to pitch to me, Kelsey Nunley. And I ended up hitting a grand slam to win game one. That was a really cool moment for me personally, being a freshman super regionals. So that was pretty awesome.

[00:10:33] And, and then, oh my gosh, I had one more and I completely forgot it. Oh, the UCLA or the world series game against Oregon. There was a huge delay rain out because what's the world series without a delay, a weather delay.

[00:10:49] And it was us against Oregon and there was nobody in the stands, but our families because we were playing past midnight. And it was the most fun game I've ever had at a world series. Just a couple. With no fans. That was the most fun you had?

[00:11:06] Yeah, it really was because we just always had a good game and it was just our families and they were so loud. And it was in the middle of the night. Like it was really fun. That was when Mike Smith was there right before he went to Texas.

[00:11:20] They were good too, right? Really good. Yeah, Mike White. Yes. Mike White. That's right. I always get Mike Smith and Mike White mixed up. And that's when college softball really was on the trajectory, right? That's when piano started picking it up.

[00:11:37] Like when you see it now, it's just super popular. I'm not sure if it was as popular back then, but I think your era created that momentum. I believe, I don't know if you agree with that or not, but you just see it on TV now.

[00:11:53] There's, Lacey and I talked about last week how emotional and how exciting they get on certain. There's the emotions. You're going to see the emotions on every girl. Somebody hits a home run and they just, they go crazy.

[00:12:08] And I'm not sure what, I don't know if it was like that back then, or I don't know if you can describe that a little bit. Yeah, I would say my four years we, the postseason was on ANZPN and that was very exciting for us.

[00:12:23] So it was definitely new. And, but then it also coincides with social media getting very big as well. And we were on social media and ESPN at the same time. So you saw those two trending and now it's just completely taken off, especially with NIL and stuff.

[00:12:43] But yeah, it's, it was very fun to be able to be on national television. And then now looking ahead now and how much it's grown and to see how much it's taken off, I believe the UCLA Oklahoma game is going to be on ABC, which is

[00:13:00] really cool because it's going to be a good game. There's going to be a lot of eyes on it. So that it's been really cool to watch. I wish you could go into pro softball, but that's a whole different ball game.

[00:13:11] That seems to be a, seems to drop after they go to the pros. But Lacey, what are you going to say Lacey? I was going to go off of when you said it was just your family and not really

[00:13:23] any fans, like going into late night because you played the Olympics during COVID where there was no fans at all. I just wanted, like, wanted to hear your experience with that and just going through the Olympics during that time. Like how was that for you?

[00:13:42] Yeah, that was crazy. It was, we went from, and we found out we were made the team in December of 2019 and we had literally the December nights of 2019. Sorry. And literally that day we had every single day planned out for us in 2020.

[00:14:04] Every single day I knew what I was going to be doing. And then the middle of our tour in March, we were in Seattle is when everything happened. And then I went from knowing exactly what I was going to be doing to not

[00:14:17] knowing what, if the Olympics were even going to happen. So it was a very crazy time. And then obviously we were very thankful that the Olympics did happen. We were hoping for limited family being able to come.

[00:14:32] And then obviously with the news of no family being able to come, not even our alternates were able to be there. It was just like one blow after another, but we were very thankful that the Olympics even happened.

[00:14:43] Then how then describe your mindset because you got injured in, in 20, right? So it almost was a blessing that maybe the Olympics was pushed to the 20, 20, 21, can you grab your mindset after getting injured and maybe thinking this may not happen?

[00:15:02] I don't know what were your thoughts on that? Yeah, that was, that was that again, that kind of. Goes into like the crazy times because it really was, I tore my ACL and meniscus February 4th of 2020. So our very first game of our tour.

[00:15:19] And then another month later is when it got everything shut down in the country with COVID. But I wasn't going to get surgery because I didn't have time to get surgery basically, cause I, it was minimum with my meniscus, it was minimum 10 months.

[00:15:35] And so I didn't have any pain, thankfully. So I was just going to put a big old brace on it and I was just going to suck it up. And as soon as we found out that the Olympics were postponed and that they

[00:15:48] for sure were coming back, I called my head coach and he said, get surgery now. So we went through the whole Olympic committee. I ended up getting surgery on May 5th again, a couple months later after that because elective surgeries weren't a necessity.

[00:16:05] And May 5th, I got surgery at the university of Utah. And then it took me. Thankfully, I was so thankful that my physical therapist was deemed an essential business, so they stayed open all through COVID. And so I was living there basically all throughout COVID getting stronger

[00:16:25] for July of that next year. But I had never suffered an injury in my entire career. I made it all the way to the Olympics, thankfully without suffering anything. And that was the hardest time of my life.

[00:16:44] Being able to process my knee, the Olympics and being alone with COVID. That was a lot. And we talk about like the mental health aspect and the previous conversation and it was, it definitely wore on me. And then just going through ACL recovery in itself is very monotonous.

[00:17:05] It's very slow paced. It's very like it's groundhog day. You do the same thing over and over again, and that could wear on you. That wore on me as well of like, I'm not getting any better. I feel like I'm not progressing.

[00:17:19] And I was very thankful for my teammates because we were all isolated. We meet, we met weekly on zoom. That helped me tremendously. I was, I lived with my parents at that time. That was, that helped me so much.

[00:17:34] We ended up getting a puppy and that helped me so much just randomly. I didn't think that it would really have an effect on me. And it totally did. But my teammates were very huge in that aspect of when I was going through

[00:17:51] my ACL recovery meeting weekly, we called them Ted talk of Tuesdays. It was, it just filled my cup and I needed that during that time. Very cool. So let's work getting towards the end here. Listen, you mentioned your softball days are over. Did you ever think about coaching?

[00:18:12] Maybe doing some, some hitting lessons or some filling lessons. Have you thought about doing that? And then what are you doing now that softball is over? So. Yeah. So when I moved, I'm, when I moved out here, I immediately jumped into like the lessons and the coaching practices.

[00:18:32] And I did that for a couple of, um, like falls and springs. And that was really fun. Like tapped into all of the local little leagues around here and rec well links and just athletes in general. And that was very fun. Made some really awesome connections.

[00:18:49] And then I just got busy and I still played for the USA pride. I actually was going to play for them this summer as well, but everything that just transpired. The, I just, I'm not going to play this summer essentially.

[00:19:05] And I think I'm going to call it quits. I think I just, it's just time. But yeah, so I, I took a job to teach what I have never done in my life. And it was the most rewarding and it was just everything I didn't know that I

[00:19:25] needed, and it was so much fun. And it's just like a small Christian charter out here. And it was absolutely refreshing and life-giving. And, and so that's currently what I'm doing. We're on summer break right now, but my first summer that I'm going to

[00:19:43] have nothing since probably the age of 10, I don't know. And it's just, I am excited and I'm super grateful that I'm going into that route of education. It's very similar of what I have been doing in the past with lessons and with coaching.

[00:20:03] It's just now in a different category. I guess you can say it. I'm not sure, but I love it. All right, Lacey, got anything to add? You have anything you want to pick your brain out?

[00:20:18] I was going to go back to the injury part of it and how an ACL is so much different than obviously a head injury, which is like weird because like a head injury just sounds so crazy and big, but ACLs take way longer

[00:20:39] to recover and you have to strengthen yourself and all the, all those different areas we had a, I had a teammate tear hers in September right when we started fall ball and she, and she's just now getting, getting into running. She's gone through this whole process too.

[00:20:55] And I've seen it from the outside and it's just crazy how much work is put into that, but I was, I can relate to not being able. I felt every day I was waking up with some new headache or like

[00:21:10] a different area was like hurting and I just didn't know how to stop it. Or even when I was in the hospital, I was like, nothing's working. No medication is working. You need to help me, but nothing I just like for me to be not in

[00:21:24] pain was to like be sleeping. So I was like, it was just insane and injuries can really take a toll. And, but I remember a lot of my teammates coming in to visit me at the hospital and coach Mark came to visit me at the hospital.

[00:21:40] And he was like, he was the one that told me like, you're going to pitch again, basically like you're not quitting or you're, this isn't going to stop you. You're going to pitch again. So having him there, having my teammates there, my family was also

[00:21:53] there the whole entire time. So I totally understand how that was like a big motivator and getting through your injury. Yeah. And your mom got, your mom had ACL surgery back in the day. And then she said the pain was worse than giving birth when the pain medication,

[00:22:13] when the pain medication wore off. She said that she was, the pain was a lot more severe than, than giving birth, which is a strong statement, I guess. I don't know. I haven't, I don't have any kids, but the pain was absolutely crazy for

[00:22:29] at least a couple of days. That's for sure. But, and I'm assuming, oh, sorry. I just wanted to say one more thing. I I'm assuming that maybe you would also agree with me or maybe I understand what I'm saying when through injury, you learned so much

[00:22:46] about your body and I'm sure you would learn, you learned a lot about your head as well. I asked, and I thought they were just the maybe dumb questions, but I just asked questions of this hurt or this is aching or this feels this way.

[00:22:59] Because I just, I didn't know. And I honestly did not want to get hurt again. And I found out so much information about my knee and about my leg and how everything is connected and how if this hurts, if my calf hurts, maybe

[00:23:13] it's connected to my IT band or vice versa, my knee is hurting. Maybe it's because I'm tight and I'm sore in my hamstring and my quad. And so going through my injury, yes, it was very hard, but I understand my body so much more now, injury prevention.

[00:23:28] And if I'm actually like tweaking anything and I'm very thankful for that because beforehand, like in high school and in college, I lifted weights because I had to, and I had no idea what was going on in my body.

[00:23:42] And so I'm very lucky that I didn't get hurt before I did. But now I, I understand my knee. I understand my legs so much more now because of my injury. And I'm assuming that you understand if you have a headache here, if it hurts

[00:23:56] here on different sides of your head, you understand whether where that's coming from or what you have to do to prevent it and to help it. So I'm very thankful for that as well. Yeah.

[00:24:08] Cause I was hit so hard that I had a fracture here and it like fractured some part of my eye, I think. But I think one thing that stands out of like questions that I asked is

[00:24:21] when I started weightlifting again, I felt so weak on my right side and I'm a righty. So it just did not make sense to me. And so I was asking my trainer, I was like, is it possible that, cause I

[00:24:37] was hit on the left side of my brain, that my right side or my motor control on my right side could be affected due to being hit so hard or I don't know, and he was like, what's a possibility, but you never really

[00:24:50] know and the only way you'd really know is if you had surgery or had some sort of scan to really tell you what the damage is in your brain, I was like. Okay. I don't really see a difference anymore now, but after I was hit, I definitely

[00:25:05] saw more strength in my left side and weakness in my right side. So that was something very interesting to learn. But yeah. Very cool. Delaney, thank you so much. Hopefully that ACL surgery is helping you with your box jumps at F 45. They are.

[00:25:26] And then are you going to do any competitions? I know some of the 45 girls there, they do some competition. They do DECA and high rocks. Are you going to do any of those stuff? No, I don't think so.

[00:25:37] I trained competitively my whole life and now I'm just doing this for fun. There you go. Thank you again for coming on. Thanks for Kelly Buren for introducing us. They appreciate you coming on. It was great meeting you and hopefully we'll see you in the gym.

[00:25:56] We actually worked out, we did a DECA at 45, my wife and I think last year they will run into you at the gym sometime. Thank you for joining us and coming on. Yeah. It was so nice meeting you guys and chatting with you about

[00:26:10] softball, our favorite club deck. And I will definitely see you around. All right. Go UCLA, go Bruin. Yeah. Thanks so much Delaney.