28 | Olympian Delaney Spaulding: From Softball Beginnings to UCLA and Beyond

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to Catching You podcast. As you have noticed, there's a link in the show notes to send us a message. Lacie and I are taking questions to answer for future episodes.

[00:00:12] Send us your questions or simply drop us a message and let us know what you think of our show. Thank you and catch you guys on the other side. Take care. Welcome back everybody to Catching You. We had the great honor of interviewing

[00:00:30] Delaney Spalding, an UCLA alumni and Olympian. We cut this into two parts so this is part one. Enjoy. Hello and welcome to Catching You, a dad and daughter softball journey. I'm Rusty, a dad who's been in the dugout and on the sidelines.

[00:00:49] And I'm Lacie, the daughter who's journey through softball has been filled with incredible wins, tough losses and so many lessons both on and off the field. For the past 16 years, we've navigated the highs and lows of softball together

[00:01:01] from the local fields to national tournaments and everything in between. From the challenges of recruitment during COVID to the mental and emotional roller coaster that comes with being a student athlete,

[00:01:11] we'll be sharing the perspectives of both the parent and athlete and firsthand experience of the impact of sports on mental health and the importance of support from the sidelines.

[00:01:20] Oh, welcome back everybody to Catching You. I'm your co-host Rusty Ham. With me is my beautiful daughter Lacie, back from college for the summer and we have a special guest with us, Delaney Spalding. Welcome Delaney to Catching You. Thank you guys for having me.

[00:01:40] You're welcome. Yeah, if you've been living under a rock, if you don't know Delaney Spalding, obviously she's played for UCLA from 2014 to 2017. I'm not sure how long you played for the USA pride, but just right after that she became a professional and then she's also an Olympian

[00:02:00] silver medalist, right? 2020 actually is 2021 under 2020. Yeah. Olympics. Welcome Delaney. Yeah, we got hooked up by a fellow workout partner, right? She's your workout bestie, Kelly Urin. Yes. From F45, right? Yeah, yes. Yeah, I wanted to give that a shout out.

[00:02:21] I don't know if they need a shout out, but we'll shout out. Yeah, we'll give them a shout out. Delaney, this is a father daughter podcast. So we'll just start from the beginning. Where did you grow up? When did you start playing softball?

[00:02:36] What was just a background of who you are? Yeah, so I grew up in Rancho Cucamonga. It's not too far from where I now live, but there's four girls in my family.

[00:02:48] So I am the youngest of four and the baby and we're pretty spread out. So it's I'm 10 years younger than my oldest and then seven and six years from my sister that's closest to me. So I was, I grew up at the softball field. All my sisters played.

[00:03:05] Two of them went on to play D1 at University of Oklahoma and University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I think you mentioned that earlier before we were recording. And so I just, I pretty much was destined to play softball.

[00:03:19] I was at the field at a very young age always. My favorite memories were taking naps at the softball field and then just hearing the game being played in the background. It's like one of my first memories actually.

[00:03:31] Or catching lizards in the backseals of at the softball fields. I just have a lot of memories at the softball field off the field in general.

[00:03:39] And then I started playing around the age of eight years old, which is actually a little late, I would say because of my older sisters.

[00:03:48] But went right into rec ball, played for my Rancho Cucamonga ace softball. So I played in my backyard basically and then played a couple years of all stars and then went right into the back.

[00:04:00] And then the rest is history from there. But definitely a family sport. My mom played softball. My dad was athletic when he was younger. So they definitely knew the importance of sports in the role as a child. So we definitely were always doing something.

[00:04:18] And I definitely blessed me and it blessed my family. And obviously with the biggest accomplishment of the Olympic Games, I think was a huge family accomplishment as well. Right. You mentioned rec ball. How many years of rec ball? And then when did you transition to travel?

[00:04:36] I don't know how many seasons, but it was about two years. So I don't know. I know there's a couple of seasons in a year. And then I went on to play travel ball at the age of around 12-ish.

[00:04:45] So I would say about a couple years in rec ball, a couple years in all stars. And then I went on with some friends and my dad to play in travel ball. Okay. Yeah. Sounds familiar right, Lace?

[00:04:57] Yeah. Yeah, very similar. My first travel ball coach was a family friend that I played all stars with. Yeah. Same. So went right into Team Azuno in Tenu. Yeah. That's what we have next.

[00:05:14] Yeah. Lace, you just mentioned team Azuno. Was that your first travel or when did it? Because I know you played at Team Azuno. So describe your travel ball experience briefly here.

[00:05:26] Yeah. I'm not sure our age gap, but I played with Azuno. Oh my gosh. I haven't thought about Team Azuno in a while. I want to say I was 14 years old. Yeah. I was 14 years old.

[00:05:38] I might even have been 18 years old because I started out with the cronyangels and then did like one year with the firecrackers. And then I went straight into Doug Meyer's 16-year team. And at this time I was training with Mike Stith. So I had a relationship with Mike.

[00:05:57] And I went on to join Mike's team after the 16- or no, I was on Gary Handing's team. Sorry. I was on Gary Handing's team for a couple of years. I was a freshman, I believe. I was an eighth grade and 16 year freshman on Gary's team.

[00:06:12] Played with a lot of insanely talented women that went on to play D1. It was very cool. I was like starry-eyed. I was super young. And then Mike Stith decided to leave the Batbusters for a couple of years and maybe,

[00:06:27] I think it was a couple of years and that's when I joined Team Azuno for a year. And it was actually my, it was my senior year for sure. Again, this was a while ago.

[00:06:39] It's starting to come back to me, but I don't know. I can't remember who was my junior and senior year, but it was for sure my senior year with Mike. And like I said, I'd been training with him forever and decided to jump ship and join his team.

[00:06:52] And now he's back with the Batbusters. Yeah. Well, yeah. So that's our connection is when Mike Stith created Team Azuno. Lacey was in first year 10. That was her first experience. So we were actually in the same organization. We didn't know it. Yeah. I was a little bit older.

[00:07:09] Yeah. Now that I remember, I was a little bit older if you were on 10 U, I'm pretty sure I was an 18 U. Yeah. Yeah. She was nine when she first started. She had some cute videos of her. I think Mike's brother took a video of them

[00:07:26] when they were nine years old. This is the cutest video of all time. Yeah. It was like my name, my position, my age. I don't know. I think it got cut off, but it was a cute little video of like our little

[00:07:38] never settle t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. It was really cute. That's Tui. Very cool. Yeah. You're in, so you get, you're at with Hanny. It's a very, you know, back then one of the majors is Batbusters, Chronangels and Firecrackers were the major three, right?

[00:07:56] I think so Calais too, but describe your recruiting. And then, you know, Lacey wrote a letter to coach at the UCLA when she was, how old were you when you wrote that letter to her?

[00:08:07] I think 10 probably. Like when we started getting into Team Izuno and then transferred over to Batbusters, we started writing handwritten letters to coaches. So I don't really remember what the, like the pathway leading up to that was, but yeah, I remember addressing it like coach

[00:08:26] in a way prayers. Yeah. Yeah. You might have been a freshman. You might have been a freshman to learning when she wrote that letter to her. Is it all? So describe the recruiting process then and then if you just, what do you think of the

[00:08:39] recruiting process now? Back then and what do you think about it now? Yeah. So I graduated high school in 2013. And so a couple of years before that I was on Doug Meyer's team and that was a big recruiting year for me that was in,

[00:08:58] and I don't want to, because what I've, I got recruited very young. So I don't want to, I don't know, freak people out with those that are listening or athletes, but the times have

[00:09:11] changed now again. So where you can't get contacted or recruited this young, but I was recruited in 2008 grade. And that summer was a really big summer for me. And I had a very fun and short recruiting experience. And I loved every bit of it. I will say,

[00:09:30] I know that everyone has their own path and their own kind of story. All of my sisters, we all have different stories. Granted, they are older than me, but it's just, it's so different. Every story is so different, but mine was very fun and it was very short

[00:09:46] in the fact that as soon as UCLA came into the picture, it was a done deal. I went on a couple of visits, whether it was because my tournament, a tournament was in that

[00:09:57] area and I would go visit a university or whether I actually flew out to visit the university. But as soon as I went onto UCLA's campus, I knew it was a done deal and I

[00:10:08] committed shortly after that and pretty much the rest is history, but I committed around freshman, I've come into my freshman year of high school. And yeah, I just, like I said,

[00:10:20] I knew right away. And I know that that's pretty early considering what the rules are today. And I know there was a time when it was different and you could pretty much commit and get recruited at

[00:10:33] any age. And when we saw sixth graders, eighth graders committing to these colleges and who knows if they even wanted to play softball in the next couple of years? Who knows if they would

[00:10:43] even develop in the next couple of years? And I know that was a lot of backlash. And I agreed with that. And so I'm very thankful now just at least for our sport that it has gotten back

[00:10:55] to that old school kind of recruitment of your junior year in high school, you can be contacted or you can have that relationship. I hope that colleges are still sending letters in the mail

[00:11:10] because that was the most fun part of being recruited, was going to the mailbox and seeing the letters from different universities. I'm pretty sure I still have all, I still have those letters

[00:11:24] in my memorabilia. But yeah, recruiting is I think a little bit back to what it should be. And I always tell girls that ask for advice or what have you that to remember that you are

[00:11:37] recruiting this school as well, you are interviewing the coaches, you're interviewing the team and to always talk to the girls that are currently on the roster. And I think that's a very big,

[00:11:49] important key to recruiting is they want you to go to their school. And so if you treat it as if you're interviewing them, I think it's when you'll get the answers that you're looking. Yeah, that kind of develops some confidence in them, right? Hey, I'm interviewing you,

[00:12:05] you want me, I want to make sure this is a good fit. So it builds that confidence. And then Lace, I think your freshman year is when they change their role, right, Lace? Yeah, I think, yeah, definitely freshman year because I was going on these visits,

[00:12:23] but nothing was really happening. And but I think right when I don't know what time around my freshman year, but then they like they shut it off. And I couldn't talk to anyone anymore and had to send out my emails myself. And it was crazy. But then,

[00:12:41] yeah, then junior year, my COVID year hit. So my process was definitely up and down. And I was going to ask, did you, since you were recruited so early, like freshman year, you committed freshman year, how is your training process going through high school? Like knowing that you're

[00:12:59] going to UCLA, but you weren't going to be there in four years. So you still had to train and improve. Like how was that for you as an athlete? Yeah, it definitely gave me the most motivation, I would

[00:13:13] say. I had good people around me. My family was very supportive. Obviously my parents pushed me. And I know we'll touch on that later. But Mike's death is the greatest softball coach I think. I owe everything to him. He's the reason why I'm an Olympian.

[00:13:32] And I've told him that. And then, but I also did strength training before he had dynamic athletics. I went, it was EM that was in the building. And so that was a focus for me. But

[00:13:44] Mike Smith, Mike Smith, sorry, you sent me straight. I, and I say this now because my career's pretty much over, but I was a brat when I was younger and Mike Smith, he sent me

[00:13:57] straight. He knew my abilities and he knew that my attitude can sometimes get in my way. And he told it like it was because that's the type of athlete that I was. I did not like sugar

[00:14:07] coating. And I think that if you have a coach that what that knows who you are outside of softball and really understands you and how to get the best out of you, then you're going

[00:14:19] to strive. And that's what Mike did for me alongside my parents, obviously. And that's definitely what helped me get better every single day. You probably understand we went to Orange County, we went to STC multiple times a week doing his fielding classes, doing his hitting

[00:14:37] classes and then training physical training as well. So I definitely had the motivation obviously with UCLA on my shoulders, but Mike was not going to let me not be great. And so I think

[00:14:50] it's important to have good people in your corner that understand how to push you. Maybe you're the athlete that needs to be motivated and needs to be talked up. I definitely was not that person.

[00:15:02] I needed somebody to tell me like it is. And if I'm slacking off, I needed somebody to tell me that and he was that for me. Yeah, great point because Lacey was a bat buster

[00:15:12] from Team Muzan Obat Buster until she was 16 years old. And she was with Campbell, she's more practicing with stiff and we're at STC twice a week taking pitch and less and saying

[00:15:22] so we were in the same boat as you. We saw it firsthand how he would make sure people were in line. Awesome stuff. Let me try. Yeah, let's combine that. I want to get your thoughts

[00:15:37] on the recruiting process now and then combine that with the transfer poll because it's the transfer poll is out of control. So what would you what advice would you give a girl who's entering their

[00:15:53] junior year and then just having that transfer poll in the back of their mind? Because tons of girls that commit, we've seen it, we see it multiple times, right? They commit, they go to

[00:16:04] school for one year and then they just take off, right? You mentioned it. You're interviewing that school. What are your thoughts on the recruiting process now with the transfer portal kind of lingering? Yeah, so you're talking to someone that is very prideful in my university or in

[00:16:23] my athletic program at my university. And yeah, as soon as I signed the dotted line, I absolutely could not stand USC. Arizona Softball was a big rival. You're talking to somebody that is,

[00:16:36] I was committed to UCLA and that was that. So I'm not a huge fan of the transfer portal. With that being said, I think there are certain instances that you should get out of a situation. I completely understand that there's also COVID was very impactful with the transfer

[00:16:53] portal as well with the fifth years and finding a program that has your grad, your, I'm sorry, major for your another degree, whatever that those are separate cases. But I have a hard time with,

[00:17:08] yes, an athlete going to three different universities and their four year span have a problem with athletes. If they're not getting that starting spot, they just go up and they just leave and they don't, they're not, I don't know if it's not necessarily, they're not willing

[00:17:23] to put in the hard work to earn a starting position or what case it may be. But I fully believe that you get, you gain more character, you earn more character by doing the hard thing.

[00:17:35] And it's not going to be easy. It's the same thing as if you leave softballs beyond the white lines, you're not always going to have that, that pretty perfect boss. Sometimes

[00:17:46] bosses are not easy to communicate with, easy to be in the same building with, easy to be in the same meeting with. And what are we teaching our athletes if something gets hardly just up and

[00:17:56] leave? I think that softball unfortunately only takes us so far. And we have to think about those things. But I am very prideful in the fact that my four years at UCLA were not easy

[00:18:09] at all. I'm very fortunate enough to say that I started at UCLA, but it was very hard for me. And I just knew that I needed to buckle down and I wanted to earn a degree from UCLA because

[00:18:21] that was going to, or that was going to open doors for me in the future. And I think sometimes us athletes, we forget that we are student athletes and a degree from the university that you choose.

[00:18:33] And that's another thing going back to the recruiting process is what do you want to do potentially when you get older? Do you want to be a nurse? Do you want to study whatever

[00:18:42] it is that you want to study? You have to look at those when you're getting recruited as well. And that will help you in that decision in the end. And the transfer portal won't even necessarily

[00:18:53] be a tool for you. But yeah, the transfer portal is tricky. I know that and we're filming at such an interesting time right now towards the end of college season when you see the Pac-12

[00:19:06] dismantling and you see all of these athletes getting into the portal. And I know that there's some schools in the Pac-12 where they have zero returning players and that's very sad. And we

[00:19:18] don't know the circumstances, but I'm assuming that it has a lot to do with the Pac-12 dismantling. And so that's very hard. And you can find Grace in that. I was talking with one of my

[00:19:31] good friends who also played in the Pac-12. And when I was getting recruited and I'm in the middle of my years, and this was not talked about, but if UCLA went to the big 10 when I am a software

[00:19:43] going into my junior year, it's something that I would have to really think about. And if I had no idea about this in my recruiting process and then this was sprung on me in the middle of my

[00:19:53] four years, I would be very upset. And so this is a circumstance where I understand and I get why you would want to leave. But again, that degree or that major that you're focusing on,

[00:20:07] some of the good outweighs the bad, I will say. And talking about the Pac-12 dismantling and now they're going into a different conference where it's very pro football and not really think

[00:20:23] about traveling wise. I've talked to a lot of my teammates, I've had some friends in the Pac-12 where you have three game series and you're traveling probably Thursday morning, Thursday night won't get home until Sunday night, maybe around midnight 1am from your last game on Sunday.

[00:20:43] And then you have school in the morning on Monday. And meanwhile, you have all these assignments that you have to be doing, due dates, tests, exams. While say football, they have one

[00:20:55] game on a Friday or whatever day they're playing and then they get to go home right after. And you're talking about education and getting your degree and everything, that just makes it 10 times harder. So I understand the perspective of Pac-12,

[00:21:11] you're just going west coast, right? And now you're having to go across the country almost, maybe every other weekend. I, yeah, it's crazy to think about. Yeah. Yeah, those SEC, sorry. Go ahead. Sorry. I was just gonna say the SEC teams,

[00:21:30] the ACC, they're coming out to the west coast, maybe one or two times. That's it. And then we're going out there five, six times. It's just crazy to think about the number the travel that the softball and the baseball players have to do because it's just crazy that

[00:21:47] talk about student athlete, they're going to be true student athletes because they're going to have to do a lot of things remote, don't you think? Yeah. And that's unfortunately probably something that was not very thought about. Obviously I know that a lot of these ADC green and they

[00:22:04] see money and that's a different subject, but I think another big component. Yeah, I know. We just laugh it off. But I think another big component is our families. I grew up in Southern

[00:22:17] California. My parents and my family were at every single one of my games, whether it was home or away. And UCLA didn't leave the state very much other than Pac-12 play. And I'm sure that's

[00:22:28] the same for any other Pac-12 school and any other California school as well. So that now would be a big component for me as well. And plus it's cold in Michigan and Ohio State and it's cold over

[00:22:42] there. I don't want to play in that. Yeah. And human and not in it's human in Oklahoma at this time. I'm sure it's miserable for some people that grew up in Southern California. Let's pivot, you mentioned family. Let's pivot too because this is a father daughter podcast.

[00:22:58] So let's get into your relationship. I said specifically about your dad, but you also mentioned prior to getting on here that your mom was a big influence as well. So describe because at Glany,

[00:23:14] I've told this story a couple of times when she was getting into pitching and she started doing pretty well and team is she started becoming the kind of number one pitcher and for the Bat Busters. I was hard on her. I've never pitched an ending in my life,

[00:23:33] but I'm telling her that she needs to hit her spots and we're on the in the backyard and she's she has a terrible session. So I ignore her and I don't treat her very well.

[00:23:44] And she came to me crying. I think when either 12 or 13 in the kitchen and she started crying dad, why are you treating me this way? I'm not doing this on purpose. And so I backed off as a father.

[00:23:56] Describe your relationship with your parents and was it similar? Was it, I don't know how you would describe that with your parents? Yeah, it was similar. It was hard. I think it goes back

[00:24:12] to what Lacey asked me earlier about committing early and then having those years to prepare for UCLA. And I think with that came a lot of pressure and my parents did put pressure on me to be great

[00:24:31] and sometimes that was hard to deal with. But looking back now, because like I said, my career, I'm pretty much done and I've accomplished a lot in my career. Looking back now, it was the

[00:24:43] best thing for me. It was very hard. And the fact that I, my parents, they were the same way. If I didn't have a good game there, they're the car ride home was silent. If I didn't have if I didn't

[00:24:56] hit as good as I should have, they were hard on me. But I commend you Lacey for speaking up and for saying something because I was not that daughter. I didn't necessarily say, why are you doing that? I'm not doing this on purpose. So I think the communication

[00:25:14] is very important to both sides and the fact that you listened and you backed off as a coach, I think is important as well. I wish I would have done that. But in hindsight, I'm so blessed

[00:25:27] to have two parents that cared so much and that knew how good I was and knew my potential and knew that I did have an attitude problem. And they pushed me and they wanted me to be great

[00:25:43] and they checked me when I needed to be checked and they motivated me. And I will never, I will never take that for granted. And I'm very thankful that I was able to go to a local

[00:25:56] school so that they could see the benefits that they also received as well for me going to UCLA. And then obviously with the Olympics, I think it's a testament to how much they pushed me.

[00:26:09] Because like I said, I would have not been this good if I didn't have people that were in my corner that wanted me to be great. Yeah, as a parent through this podcast, I had an aha moment where

[00:26:24] I even just talking about it. She's with the Bat Buster organization. She's with Mark Campbell. She's with Mike Stiff. And as a parent, I felt the pressure like she needed to perform

[00:26:36] in front of these coaches. So as a parent, I was feeling the pressure because I wanted her to succeed. So I was putting my angst on her and it wasn't right. I shouldn't have done it

[00:26:47] in lace. I don't know if you can touch on because you talked about looking back, you said, what did this show that I cared? I don't know if you want to touch on that a little bit.

[00:26:57] Yeah, as I grew older, I was what 12 when I came to you. But the reason I did come to you was it was affecting our relationship outside of softball. So if you were, you kept pushing me,

[00:27:10] which was great and I needed that. And like you said, Delyne, that's like what you needed in order to be successful. And I needed that push. I needed that motivation. But it was

[00:27:22] like after a bullpen in our backyard, we come inside and have dinner and he'd still be mad at me. So I was like, can we just have a normal family dinner? Move past the bad Colbin I just had. And

[00:27:35] I've talked about it a lot on here as well as that I'm already very hard on myself as it is. And as a college athlete now, like I've told my dad, okay, I just need you to listen right

[00:27:49] now and then you can give my feet your feedback after. But yeah, so it was after that talk, it was just like, let's leave it, let's leave it where it was like at our bullpen. And then after we can

[00:28:03] calm down and have like normal father daughter relationship and do all the fun things that we make all the jokes that we want just finding that balance and having that separation between

[00:28:16] you need to be better and then you're my daughter type thing was what we needed to get to. And I think we accomplished that pretty early. And like he said, like I had these coaches already on my

[00:28:27] butt already. And I'm grateful for all the coaches that I've had growing up, especially in that buster organization. And I'm grateful I ended my career in the bad buster organization. It's pretty, pretty great. Yeah. So I the last question I had when I was doing the

[00:28:43] pre work on this, if you were to on that know if you were to look if you were to talk to the young Delaney, what and again, talking to young Delaney is you're talking because the audience is

[00:28:58] varied, right? It's from wreckball girls to girls that are playing college. So if you were to talk to the young Delaney, which young Delaney is the young girls that are out there right now, is there any advice or anything you would do different differently?

[00:29:15] Yeah. And yeah, I would stick up for myself more. So like I said, I struggled with my attitude and I show it a lot. I have like, and I'm sure some of you know what an RBS is or like a stank face

[00:29:32] or whatever. And I play a little slower or I look like it looks like I don't care what I'm out there. And that was very hard for some coaches when they were coaching me and I would get kicked

[00:29:44] out of practices or they just would think that I didn't want to be there or I was disrespecting them. And that was very hard for me because it's not that I didn't understand, but I

[00:29:57] couldn't articulate exactly what it is that I wanted to say to them whenever I was getting yelled at or I was getting kicked out of practice. So that was very hard. So I wish I would stick up

[00:30:09] for myself and I would have understood myself a little bit more or talked to my parents a little bit more about this situation. And then with that, I would say find coaches and find role models

[00:30:24] in your life that truly understand you outside of the game. And as soon as I found Doug Meyers and Mike Stith, my career changed. They understood that's just my face. They understand how much

[00:30:39] I love this game and how hard I work. And that was not going to stop them. They knew it was on the inside. They knew how hard I worked and my face at the moment because I'm processing or

[00:30:50] I'm thinking or I'm concentrating wasn't going to affect how they were going to treat me as a coach. So I would say number one is definitely understand who you are as a person and as a player

[00:31:03] and that it is okay. Yes, you want to be respectful and yes, you want to always show enthusiasm and show how much you do care. But sometimes it's out of your control. Number two, find good people

[00:31:14] around you that understand who you are as a person and that can push you. And they're not going to penalize it for you when you are just being yourself. Yeah, that's great. That's great stuff. Thank you for listening to me everybody. Lace, I love you and we'll catch

[00:31:31] everybody else on the other side. Enjoy part two next week.